sometimes mummy has not so clever ideas

 

mummy bought something at the op-shop today because she thought i might like it. and i do!

or rather, i did. 

we’re not sure what it is exactly but mummy thought i might like to wear it as a mask so i put it on and it fitted perfectly. and it made me look ever so funny. 

but then mummy got all excited and carried away and she had this stupid idea of hanging me upside down from the bird feeder on the deck and making me look like a bug gone crazy.  i told her that i wasn’t sure about her idea and that it sounded waaaay too dangerous but she said it would all be ok and that she wouldn’t let me fall. then she picked me up, took me upstairs and outside on to the deck. and then she dangled me from the birdfeeder. 

and then she dropped me. 

mummy says that it all happened so fast that she didn’t have time to do anything but i distinctly remember her shouting out “fly octavia fly”. 

oh bothersome aubergines! she knows i can’t fly!

i am so very very bruised and battered. 

but mummy came and rescued me and gave me a great big cuddle and she said she was sorry.  

and then we talked about what had happened and mummy promised not to do stupid things with me ever again. but then she said that it was going to be a bit of a problem because if i was going to become an ever so famous little owl i might have to do dangerous things sometimes.

this made me sad. i so very much want to be famous but i don't want to do dangerous things.

and do you know what mummy said next?  she said she was going to find me a stunt double.

ooooh! now that sounds so very very grand. i feel like the most importantest owl ever. i best there aren’t any other owls out there that have stunt doubles.

YIPPEE! i’m getting a stunt double! i’m getting a stunt double!

the case of the missing crunchie bar

yesterday daddy went to the supermarket to buy some milk. he asked mummy if she wanted him to get her any chocolate. mummy said definitely not because it was bad for her when she was trying to lose weight. 

well i think that daddy wasn’t listening to mummy properly because he bought her a great big crunchie bar! oh stinking aubergines! mummy was so very very angry. 

at least she said she was and she told daddy off but she didn’t look at all angry and was almost smiling when she told daddy off.

mummy said that what was done was done and that ii couldn't be helped and that she was going to save the crunchie bar for a special occasion and she put it in the kitchen. i thought it might be better for me to look after the crunchie bar personally but when i went to get it, it was gone! the wrapper was still there, but the crunchie bar wasn’t.

oh mushey aubergines. mummy will be very cross when she finds out. i hope she doesn’t think i’ve eaten it. 

i wonder where it went.

toilet troubles

i heard mummy and daddy talking last night.

they were talking about me!

i stayed ever so quiet so that they wouldn't know i was listening. they thought i was sleeping in the lounge with leonardo, but i wasn't! i was listening to them!

they were talking about how old i was. daddy says i was borned in 2012 which makes me nearly five years old! oh frosted chocolate mice! i forgot how old i was. i thought i was only two years old but i'm nearly FIVE!

i feel so very very growed up. i expect i will get grown up priviledges when i am five.

i don't think msfs was very happy when i told him. now he has to do what i say because i really am very much older than he is. msfs says that five year olds have special responsibilities like cleaning the toilet. i don't know if he's just being mean and tricking me or if he's telling the truth. i hope it's not true because i can't swim and if i fall in the toilet i might drown.

oh half a dozen aubergines!  i don't want to be five anymore. i like being two. i don't have to clean the toilet if i'm two.

oxford is going to be absolutely furious

oh aubergines! oh aubergines! oh aubergines!

i am one not very happy little owl. the monopoly tokens have changed again! i remember when the iron got taken away and hazel the cat took its place. and now they’ve got rid of the thimble, the wheelbarrow and the boot and get this. they’ve replaced them with a penguin, a duck and a dinosaur! a DINOSAUR!!

why didn’t they just add an owl?? wait till I tell oxford. he will be ABSOLUTLEY furious.

i told mummy about it. she seemed especially sad that the thimble had gone but she didn’t seem at all bothered that there wasn’t an owl. she suggested that if i felt that strongly then i should write a letter to the important monopoly people. so i did! here’s what i wrote.

dear monopoly people

my name is octavia owl and i am writing to you on behalf of all owls everywhere in the whole wide world.

we don't think it's very fair that you don't have an owl token in monopoly. there are lots of owls in the world and you have left us out. i think it would be a good idea for you to add an owl. and i don’t mind if you want to name the owl octavia. because it’s a very nice name and that’s what my mummy named me.

lots of love octavia owl aged 2

so now it’s just a matter of time I expect.

oh crumbling chocolate mice! i’m going to be on the monopoly board, i’m going to be on the monopoly board! 

just wait till msfs hears about this!

the sun most definitely does not want to play

YAWN! i am one very very tired owl.

daddy has decided that he wants to start getting up 15 minutes earlier so that he can leave for work earlier and avoid the traffic build up.

this sort of thing wouldn’t normally bother me except that daddy and mummy disturb me when they get up.

daddy makes ever so much noise in the lounge (where I sleep) packing up his work bag and doing other stuff, and mummy makes just as much noise in the kitchen making daddy’s lunch and herself a cup of tea. but worst of all she sings.

alternating aubergines! all this noise is too much for my little ears. i like mummy’s singing but not this early.

sensible, intelligent people should still fast asleep in their beds, the morning has not yet broken and the sun most definitely does not have its hat on and DOES NOT WANT TO COME OUT TO PLAY.

for goodness sake, 5.30am is bad enough but 5.15am??? really? it’s still dark outside and there are scary real live moreporks flying around. somebody please, buy me some earmuffs and eye shades so I can get back to sleep.

as oxford would say, a sleep deprived octavia is not a good thing.

the great big red box

a HUGE parcel appeared on our doorstep today.  it was a great big red box. i was so very sure that it was going to be for me but it turned out to be for daddy. 

why doesn’t anyone send me parcels????

mummy carried the great big red box up the stairs and put it on the dining room table. and then she left it there!

me and msfs asked her if she was going to open it and she said no because it was daddy’s parcel and daddy could open it when he got home.

oh multiplying aubergines! how could she say that? didn’t she want to know what was inside? wasn’t she just an insy winsy bit curious??

but instead she disappeared off to the kitchen and started listening to music. she was listening to that scary oolah music. you know, the a million and one aliens coming from mars and then they take over the earth and then there’s no more summer or winter or spring. it’s all just autumn. forever.

so we had to wait until daddy got home. he was soooo long. i wondered if he would ever get home. but he did eventually and we raced to tell him about the parcel. annoyingly all he said was “ok, thanks” and then he turned to mummy and gave her a hug and then mummy hugged daddy back and this went on for ever such a long time. i thought they would never stop! but eventually daddy let go of mummy and picked up the great big red box and read the writing on the top.

it turned out that it was a box of freebies from the local supermarket. they were sending free stuff to some of their loyal customers and daddy got some! i was so very excited. i was so very sure that there would be chocolate mice in the box and that daddy would give them to me because daddy knows how much I love chocolate mice.

but there weren’t any! not even one. there was some stinking hand cream stuff, a crummy bag of chippies and three small bottles of drink. daddy said that me and msfs could share a bottle of soda but i didn’t want any. i wanted chocolate mice.

oh sizzling aubergines, why were there no chocolate mice?

why is life so unfair?