RABBIT

Oh rotten aubergines.

Why can’t I just live in a normal house? Why does my family have to be so different?

I know that they are caring and stuff like that, but do they really have to run a halfway house for stuffies?

We’ve only just got rid of Bruce. He ended up staying for twelve long weeks until Mummy said he was ready to go back into the big wide world. And then yesterday Mummy turned up with RABBIT.

At least Bruce was an owl and not much bigger than me. But RABBIT is ginormous. I don’t like to moan and all that but it’s just that RABBIT keeps giving me these giant cuddles and he squeezes me so very very tightly that I can’t get away.

Mummy says that it’s because RABBIT is insecure and needs lots and lots of love but there are limits you know.

And do you know what happened last night? RABBIT ended up sleeping in Mummy and Daddy’s bed. I don’t think Daddy was very impressed but Mummy said that it was important that RABBIT was made to feel welcome. I have to say I feel so very very angry. I’ve NEVER EVER been allowed to sleep in Mummy and Daddy’s bed.

And guess what Mummy gave me for breakfast this morning. Yes! I got lettuce and carrots. I tried to point out to Mummy that she had made a mistake but she just glared at me and said “honestly Octavia, I can’t go around cooking different breakfasts for everyone you know”.

Oh pickled aubergines! It’s just not fair. I bet Daddy didn’t get lettuce and carrots!